Gold Rush 1849 – Where the news is good as gold

CITE: Nil2million.com

Teenagers and college students, for the most part, are not very savvy about finances. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule and some people are wonderful money managers from the time they are nine. However, for the most part, parents can only roll their eyes in despair, explain finances to the their children, once again, reminding them that there isn’t a money tree in the back yard and hope for the best.

It would be ideal if kids were taught financial management in high school or college but they aren’t. So, when the child gets some money, a college loan, for example, or an inheritance, they don’t always manage it in the best fashion. Case in point: They go on a spending spree and then don’t have enough money left over to finish out the quarter or semester.

And it is not as though these teens and college kids don’t know how to do math. They do. They simply do not put much thought or effort into how to manage their money because they were never required to.  That is the fault of the parents.

The first thing that young adults must learn is self control when it comes to finances. They have got to control their impulse spending, because it can get you in a barrel of trouble.

Another thing young adults must realize is that loading up a credit card is going to come back and haunt them for a very long time and may very well ruin their credit.

The basic rule of thumb: Your expenses should not exceed your income. If a student knows that he has such-and-such money for one term, he needs to take the time to divide that amount by how many days or weeks that are in that semester and come up with the amount of money he is able to spend without going overboard. He must factor in rent, food, utilities and the cost of books or essentials first and what is left over can be spent on “fun stuff.”

Young adults needs to overcome instant gratification attitude. You can’t always have what you want when you want it. If an individual does not learn to rein in this impulse it’s going to create financial problems for him his entire life.

All parents should take the time, before your child heads off to school, to have a serious conversation about money. Explain to them in no uncertain terms that credit card debt is brutal and can ruin one’s life.

Ideally, an 18-year-old should open up an IRA and start contributing to it. Not many do but if they did they would have a very nice nest egg in the future.  Granted, it is hard for young people to envision themselves at the age of 40 or 50 or heaven’s forbid 80. Tell them that they will get there, if they are lucky, and if they are smart they can start accumulating now for the future. No one wants to be a poverty stricken 80-year-old but it happens.

The day-to-day purchases that young people make, and some older people, are what do them in. They fritter away masses amount of money eating fast food or buying a pair of jeans here and a sweater there. Before they know it, all of their money is going, although it did not go in one fell swoop.

MY TAKE:

Talk to your children and talk some more. Hound them if you have. Parents do bail their kids out BUT they shouldn’t do it every time of the child is never going to learn to fend for himself and rein in his compulsive spending habits. There has got to be a straw that breaks the camel’s back. Sooner or later the parent has to say NO MORE MONEY! If you are still bailing out your 30-year-old son, you’ve got trouble on your hands.

CITE: Helpguide.org

Step-parenting can be a challenge

Step-families are now called blended families, which is a more politically-correct way of saying the same thing. And no one is going to kid you that this is an easy situation that you’re going to breeze through, even for those men and women who are totally on board. For those of you who have reservations it is going to be even more difficult.

Don’t beat yourself up because you don’t love your partner’s children. It takes time and it may never happen, but it might. It’s usually best when a parent waits two years or more before remarrying after a divorce because otherwise the children are going to be bombarded with several major lifestyle changes, and this is going to make them nuts and what could you expect? They’re kids and their life as they knew it has been pulled out from underneath them.

Before you marry the woman or man (and their children) discuss with your future spouse how you plan to parent, advises Helpguide.org, although you may not have a clue if you have never parented before. Start thinking about it.

Don’t expect the children to fall for your charms immediately. It takes time. However, you can still invest a lot of time, energy, affection and love in them and some day they may return the feelings. Don’t expect things to be great right from the get-go because that’s not realistic. There are going to be some bumps ahead. However, do insist that the children respect you. They may not like you, but they have to treat you respectfully. If they don’t, you and their parent have a lot of talking to do.

Know in advance that boys are apt to accept a step father more readily than girls, and girls are likely to be uncomfortable if their step father shows physical displays of affection so be careful about that.

On the one hand, there have been step-fathers and step-mothers since the beginning of time and sometimes the relationship goes swimmingly. That is a possibility, you know.

According to Rod Smith of Difficult Relationships, getting Annie or Scottie a new daddy or mommy, although they are probably perfectly content with the old one who no longer lives with them, is not a panacea, and it won’t cure them of their anger or distress over their parents’ divorce. Mother’s new marriage and new husband or father’s new marriage an new wife are not going to fix anything but are more likely to expose and intensify underlying problems that already exist.

We hear you. Just great, you’re thinking.

It is crucial that you share with your girlfriend or boyfriend your apprehensions and reluctance about being a step-parent. You cannot  be skittish about having this conversation. It will be disastrous if you don’t and you go ahead and get married and then tell your spouse that you don’t like being a parent. What do you expect your spouse to do? Give the kids to the ex? That’s probably not going to happen, and you shouldn’t want it to. If you really love your new wife or husband, you know what the kids mean to them. No spouse should ever be forced to give up his/her children to appease a new spouse.

Rod Smith of Difficult Relationships recommends that you have several “hard” talks with your future spouse about the merging of the family. This is going to be difficult, the talk and the blending of families, but it’s going to be even harder if you don’t do it now.

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MY TAKE:

Other words of wisdom

Do not take on the role of the step-parent until you legally are the child’s step parent. In other words, do not assume a role that you do not occupy. Do not allow anyone to push you into a role that you are not ready to occupy. However, you need to be ready to occupy it once you say “I do.” Even if your girlfriend or boyfriend’s children treat you as if you are their father or mother it does not mean that you are their parent, yet.

As much as you hate the thought of it, get together with your girlfriend or boyfriend and the ex and discuss the situation. Do this before you get married. Talk about how all three of you are going to co-parent the children. It may go well. It may not. However, it’s better to do it now rather than waiting until after the wedding.

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